OMG!! Only remembered just in time this morning that I'm like totally having some slags round for a Christmas tea party type thing.
Major panic!
The place was a right old crap 'ole so I ad a little scrub around.
Phew! This bog scrubbing is hard work eh?
Ahh! That's better. Just time for a little sit down before they all arrive. I was gonna do some party food but then I just thought, sod it. They can have tea and gin and like it. Slags.
Wowee!! The party was really going with a swing. Monkey got like totally wasted. I smoked half a cigarette with Sindy and then I was just like downing another gin, hic, when everything went like totally really bad.
Shaz's ex, Ted turned up, hic, and was all like, 'Urrrr what the fuck are you doin Shaz,' and we were all like, 'Oh my God, just Fuck off Red Ted,' and then right he was all like, 'Shaz, you said you loved me, how could you leave me?' So, then he jus' wen' totally, hic, mental and star'ed like literally tearin' her to, hic, pieces.He totally took off her head and threw it into a cup of tea.
It was like, awesome.
He is so wild, jus like Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancin. He jus does stuff and like . . . . an like he doesn't even care abou it.
Don you jus wanna be lie thaa?
Oh red ted, you are the one I have waited for. Burrrp! Whoopsy! Hic.
We spen the res of the party dancin to 'Careless Whisper'. S'really romanic.Shudda non be'er than to tree you fren
was sed chan than IIII bin givn
thou s'easy tooo pretend
I know you nah a fooooo
