Wow, Barbie Blogerers, just finding it so hard to get out of bed at the moment. The days are so short. The endless nights. The rain and cold and frost. I guess I've got the January blues. All I want to do is sleep and use my sky plus to rewind holiday adverts so I can watch them over and over.
I really like that Thomson one where a little northern lad tells me how important it is to spend time with my loved ones. He likes the term 'loved ones.' I especially like the bit where he tells me to put down my phone and hold my loved ones hand. 'Nice, isn't it?' northern lad asks me (do I reply?). Cue montage of skinny couple twirling themselves around in a swimming pool, beautiful children sleeping on their beautiful father, tanned people laughing at barbecues on beach wearing open white linen shirts, woman smiling on hammock with man whispering in her ear and all this to a slow piano version of 'Fix You' by Coldplay (those boys are deep). Now the shots of children being hugged by their mothers, on and on it goes. 'Let this be a lesson to you,' says northern lad.
Dearest northern lad, from the Thomson holiday ads. Can't I, Barbie, come and live in your world? Your world of endless twirling and Coldplay piano accompaniment?
When you try so hard but you can't slee - eep
When you get what you want but not what you nee - eed
When the tears come streaming down your faa - ace
Bluh Bluh Bluh Bluuuuuurr Blurrrrr Blur
Right I'm going back to sleep. Got to get up tomorrow. I'm going into town to buy myself a white linen shirt.
Laters maters, mwah!
