Hey there sweeties, been working on a little workout routine that you might like to try. I know that some of you are feeling quite jealous of my perfect body. Just copy some of my moves and you'll be well on your way to looking (almost) as good as me. That's it. Keep on stretching. Push harder.
Just hold this position for about twenty five minutes. That should start working those muscles effectively. It may help if you have some old trainers and some mediocre dance music to hand, that way it will smell and sound like you are actually down the gym and everything. Throw in a sweaty, fake tanned, gum chewing, protein shake glugging knob to stare at your pathetic workout routine from across the room and you've got yourself a gym membership.
I'm not that lucky. I don't have any beefcakes to watch me work out.
Yet.
Sniff.
Anyway, you might find that your endurance is vastly improved by donning a cute little head band like so. Oh, and by taking off all your clothes. There you go, can't you feel those Christmas pounds dropping off?
Phew, I feel a little pooped now.
Ahhh, time for a lie down.
Oh and by the way. It has been snowing. Blah blah blah snow blah blah cue inane conversation about the council, grit, Picassos struggling up hills, weather forecasts, stories about the last few winters snow, how many feet deep snow is in other countries, how lucky we are that snow isn't that deep here, how we're just not used to it here blah-bl-bl-blaaaah-blah-blaaaaah
Are you still listening?
Laters craters, mwah, mwah, mwaaaahh
